Lessons Learned from Paisley...

This post is personal, but I want to make sure I remember the things that I have learned from my little girl already even though she hasn't even been born yet. The past six months have been some of the most trying times in my life, but I am really grateful that I have experienced them and am even more grateful for things that I have learned through my trials. These are just a few of the lessons I've learned so far. 1. I can do hard things. If someone were to have told me that I would have to endure the horrible sickness and pain that I have gone through while being pregnant all while trying to keep my grades up and finish nursing school, I would have told them I could never do it. This pregnancy has taught me that I am stronger than I think and that through help from loved ones and a loving Heavenly Father I can do hard things. 2. My Heavenly Father knows me and listens to my prayers. I think God gave me this hardship to teach me to rely on Him in all things I do. I have never felt closer to Him than I have while being pregnant. When I was so depressed and thought I couldn't make it through another day, it was He who comforted me and lifted my spirit. It is crazy that now that I have felt so much better for the past few weeks, I have noticed myself already forgetting how low I felt and how much He helped me. I am trying my hardest to remember that spiritual lessons I've learned and keep them close to my heart. I know God listens to our prayers. I know He cares for us and knows each one of us individually. I am so grateful for the comfort that knowledge has brought to me in my life. 3. There are wonderful people in this world. There are so many people who helped me so much throughout this time. It makes me emotional every time I think of those of you who talked with me, cried with me, prayed for me, and offered acts of service towards me. Although there is certainly a lot of evil in the world, I know there is also a whole lot of good. And I've been blessed to have the best of the best people as my friends and family. 4. I married the perfect person for me. Words cannot describe how grateful I am that I married Seth. Throughout all of this, he has been so incredible. From programming my feeding tube, to making me smile when I didn't think I remembered how, to washing my hair when I was too weak to do it, to loving me more than I thought possible, he is the greatest man I know. I am so happy that I will have him by my side helping me to raise Paisley. I couldn't have asked for a better guy. I love him more and more each day and am so happy he's mine. 5. Being skinny isn't everything. I don't talk about this much, but throughout my life I have struggled off and on with an eating disorder. Luckily I have had an amazing support system that has helped me through the worst parts of it, but I was very worried about getting pregnant and "getting fat." Being so sick I actually did the opposite for a while and got really skinny because I couldn't eat. I remember thinking I must have been insane to have ever wished that upon myself. It actually helped me to realize that being healthy is so much more important than being thin. Now that I am doing so much better and am gaining weight, it has been hard for me and I admit I don't look at the scale at my appointments. However, I have realized that I am more than willing to have my body change in order to get this sweet little girl here. 6. I owe my mom so much. This experience has made me so much more grateful that I have such a wonderful woman as my mom. I remember when I was feeling extremely horrible, calling her and apologizing for being such a brat sometimes growing up. She is the most selfless person I know, and her love and support have been invaluable to me this past year. I am so grateful that I have had such an amazing example in my life of how to be a wonderful mother. I hope and pray I can do even half the job she has done with my own children. 7. Being a mom will be my greatest blessing. Words cannot describe how much I love this little girl already. It is nuts to think how much I love her without ever even seeing her. It is the most humbling thing to know that I will be given this sweet angel to look over and raise. The sense of responsibility overwhelms me at times, but I know that by staying in tune with the Holy Spirit and trying my hardest I will be able to be the best mom I can be. I won't be perfect, but I guarantee I will love that little girl with all of my heart. I already feel like I know her little personality, and I am so excited to look into her face and see a little piece of heaven on earth. All of the hard times I've gone through will seem unimportant when I can finally hold her in my arms, and I am SO excited to be able to do that! There are many more things I have learned, and I am sure I will continue to learn more and more each day as a mom. I hope this didn't come off too cheesy or personal, but I really wanted to make sure I remember these important lessons, and I am horrible at keeping a journal, so this was my best bet. Thanks again for all of you who have helped me along the way. I am so grateful to be feeling so much better, and I am even more excited to be a mommy :)